i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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