his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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