So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
