If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
