Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
