My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
