and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
