I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you didnt know i had herpes?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
