Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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