Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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