That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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