do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
