I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
