That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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