Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
