He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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