you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
