it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
