Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
