she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
