he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
