I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
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You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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