i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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