Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
