I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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