i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
