There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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