make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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