Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
