My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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