I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She announced her abortion via fbk
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
