That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
