Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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