called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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