I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
