I'm laying in your front yard are you home
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
