So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
