She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your penis caused this!
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