I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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