At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i think my cat just said my name.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
