I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
