life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
