on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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