there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
