I'm jealous of your bromance
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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