I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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