Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
