Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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