i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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