If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
