porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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