don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I touched a dick in church today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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