fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
