well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
