he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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